I use to ask myself this question all the time, “Why am I still single?” I mean I’m beautiful, I work, I take care of my daughter and have many things going for myself among other qualities I feel like any man would look for in a woman. I would ask myself, What could be wrong with me? Am I requiring too much? Do I offer too much? This is a topic that my friends and I often have and I hear other young women ask the same question. It’s like the women who have standards and good things going for themselves are single for years and it seems like a decent man is hard to come across, but then you see a man be with a woman who hardly has anything going for herself. Like, “If she can get a ring surely I can!”
A few things I’ve learned in my dating experience the last 3 years I’ve been single is that some men (I said SOME) want a strong woman but don’t want a woman they feel like can offer more than what they can not thinking about the great things the two can accomplish and build especially with the right woman by their side, I mean that should be the ultimate goal in any relationship right? But men don’t think about that, But men have large egos, their pride is high, and will get intimidated when they come across a woman with her stuff together. That’s why they choose someone who is either equal or doing the bare minimum to them(Sad I know).
Now the most important thing I believe I did was to learn what I wanted, what I didn’t want, what I will allow, and what I wouldn’t allow. I had to learn how to love myself first and set those standards for myself. I believe setting standards and realizing your worth is so important because it prevents you from settling for anybody just to say you have somebody. I see this too often where people are in a relationship just to say they have someone and want to fill that void of loneliness they may have especially at night, that’s when its the worse. NEVER do that. Don’t be vulnerable and lower your standards just for a relationship that will probably only last a few months. What you want exists and don’t ever feel like your standards are too high because there’s no such thing, but make sure your standards match up with the person you are because you can’t be a nickel searching for a dime.
Now I had this bad, meeting a guy who had all the qualities I wanted, showed interest in me, invite me on dates, text and call “Just Because” all the cute things we want but guess what I do? I PUT THEM IN THE FRIEND ZONE! I’m sure I’m not the only one that does this. But why do we do that? Lol, The person we friend zone just may be the one but gets placed to the back because they may not be what we are used to dating or not our type. Step out that comfort zone and date that person you put in the friend zone, you never know what could happen.
Overall, the right person for you is out there and will come at the right times, sometimes when you least expect it. If you are ready and you know it continue to prepare yourself, focus on yourself, go out and date and wait for your king. Being single is not a bad thing, great things take time!
PUBLIC NOTE: The opinions expressed in this article are the author's own and do not reflect the view of the I Am Beautiful 365, affiliates or partners.